Toxic What does that word mean to you, if anything?
This is a subject I wanted to talk about a while back, but was something I was struggling with myself.
Reading a few other peoples blogs however, this word keeps cropping up time and time again.
As a fan of quotes, I wanted to insert, a phrase I seem to be hearing alot:
“the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results” – I am not sure if I agree with this!
I think there are occasions in life where if you are persistent or persevere long enough, you can get a different result – not everyone will agree.
I have been thinking a lot about life recently, and I would love to get rid of the toxic things in my life. By toxic, I mean the things that either make my life hard or that I would be better without i.e not good for me, unhealthy, distractions, harmful etc.
In order to do this, I had to write a list of the so called “toxic” things in my life.
So these were a mixture of:
Thoughts….some times I can hold on to negative things that have been said to me or about me..this makes me sad, doubt myself and feel like, (fill in your own word) I no longer want to let those things or people have power over me.
Words…sometimes I can be filled with hate, or contempt for another. My own bitterness can cause toxicity. I do not want to be like that even if I do it in self preservation or protection, it’s not who I am. My words can be cruel and can hurt because I am hurting.
A phrase I heard recently rings true for me “hurt people – hurt people”
People.. Sometimes we need to realise who the toxic people are in our lives and how best to deal with them in a way that we are not victims or that they have authority over us.
Sometimes people may not realise the affect they have on us, even when well intentioned, and often these can be those closest to us. In their well intentions, they can still hurt thinking they know what’s best for us.
The most damaging phrase I had say to me was.. “I am saying this in love”
The word “love” itself has become toxic to me, and means things I would rather not go into. Some of you out there may be able to relate to what I’m saying.
Actions… This section is harder to write for me as it means being honest and vulnerable, but self harm is a huge thing for me. Most people may think self harm is cutting, but there is so much more to this.
Food for me is my thing, as I feel it’ s possibly the one thing I can control, so it means if I am in a bad place I will either over indulge or not eat.
Neglect of myself is another area I can often suffer from..
While depression can be a part of me I live with, I have to fight hard for it not to control me. This is a hard battle!
Some of my mindset has come from the damaging words and actions which have sunk in deep or play on repeat in my head.
Today I choose not to let ghosts of people past have that authority over me. (At least I will try)
In essence toxic can be anything in our life which is not good for us.
I am not saying it is easy to change and sometimes we need very drastic things to happen to get us to that point.
Don’t be afraid to get help.
Maybe if you are fed up and seeking a change, perhaps now is the time!
Let’s do this toxic journey together.
Let’s make today be the start of a new life, new start, no more toxic!
Life can be sweeter! Sweet things can “grow on trees” and yes I have tasted from this tree of life, and it was good!
Peace be with you.